November292011
Those who can do, those who cant … go to a seminar!?!? Watching a program about money and peoples relationships to it, their motivations for wanting that money and how they endeavour to get it. Featured are ‘Money Guru’s’ ie the charismatic, seemingly altruistic speakers at seminars dedicated telling people how to become millionaires. Then you have those who go to these seminars, take Janis, who on a daily basis gets up and rubs her ears whilst telling herself she is a millionairess and does a dance whilst resciting ‘I AM FINANCIALLY FREE’. Its too easy to mock so I wont. Then there are a couple of teenagers heavily in debt from taking out loans to attend said seminars. I feel for these people, I view them as vulnerable victims, in much the same way I view those who have lost a loved ones and their grief allows them to believe the £10 ‘psychic’ from down the road really is channelling Uncle (feel free to fill the gap). Karl Marx once said ‘Religion is the opiate to the masses’. So as religion fades from consciousness of many in the Western world to be replaced by the new religion of extreme capitalism, people are becoming sheep and easy targets for those who offer ‘the answer’ or a quick fix. Im just sitting here wondering if they are practising what they preach, are they actually millionaires? And if the answer is yes, how did they become millionaires. Let me guess from finding those people who are desparate enough to believe the jargon, buzz words and clichés and pay extortionate prices for the pleasure. I dont want to be a complete cynic, if there is something which is helping and motivating others to better themselves, whether placebo or otherwise I’m all for it. That said not everything should be a means to an end. Also, I have to acknowledge the entrepreneurial spirit of these speakers, telling people what they kind of already know - be positive, work smart not hard, invest in you - for a premium price. Also, I recognise the above examples of attendees are maybe the extreme shown for entertainment value, however they are in my opinion representative of the stereotype of these types of people and stereotypes don’t just come from nowhere though I hate to admit it. Heres something for free, think about what you could be actively doing or achieving in the time your spending sitting there listening to people telling you to be proactive. (Kanye shrug) http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b017xgn6/Money_Who_Wants_to_be_a_Millionaire/

Those who can do, those who cant … go to a seminar!?!?

Watching a program about money and peoples relationships to it, their motivations for wanting that money and how they endeavour to get it. Featured are ‘Money Guru’s’ ie the charismatic, seemingly altruistic speakers at seminars dedicated telling people how to become millionaires. Then you have those who go to these seminars, take Janis, who on a daily basis gets up and rubs her ears whilst telling herself she is a millionairess and does a dance whilst resciting ‘I AM FINANCIALLY FREE’. Its too easy to mock so I wont. Then there are a couple of teenagers heavily in debt from taking out loans to attend said seminars.

I feel for these people, I view them as vulnerable victims, in much the same way I view those who have lost a loved ones and their grief allows them to believe the £10 ‘psychic’ from down the road really is channelling Uncle (feel free to fill the gap).

Karl Marx once said ‘Religion is the opiate to the masses’. So as religion fades from consciousness of many in the Western world to be replaced by the new religion of extreme capitalism, people are becoming sheep and easy targets for those who offer ‘the answer’ or a quick fix. Im just sitting here wondering if they are practising what they preach, are they actually millionaires? And if the answer is yes, how did they become millionaires. Let me guess from finding those people who are desparate enough to believe the jargon, buzz words and clichés and pay extortionate prices for the pleasure.

I dont want to be a complete cynic, if there is something which is helping and motivating others to better themselves, whether placebo or otherwise I’m all for it. That said not everything should be a means to an end. Also, I have to acknowledge the entrepreneurial spirit of these speakers, telling people what they kind of already know - be positive, work smart not hard, invest in you - for a premium price. Also, I recognise the above examples of attendees are maybe the extreme shown for entertainment value, however they are in my opinion representative of the stereotype of these types of people and stereotypes don’t just come from nowhere though I hate to admit it.

Heres something for free, think about what you could be actively doing or achieving in the time your spending sitting there listening to people telling you to be proactive. (Kanye shrug)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b017xgn6/Money_Who_Wants_to_be_a_Millionaire/
November152011
Bye Bye Berli - the unlikely heartthrob? I have a guilty secret, its my love of Silvio Berlusconi. The former Italian president stood down this week amid huge criticism of his leadership at a time when Italy’s economy is on the brink of disaster.  To me, Berlusconi symbolises an era of the ‘SuperStar Politician’, he does and says what he wants - well up until Sunday anyway. He had all the ingredients I love in a good film - alleged Mafia links, held supposed orgies ’Bunga Bunga’ parties, has the lustrous brunette locks of a Just for Men model and skin tighter than a cat’s anus. Perhaps the reason I like him most is his lack of filter or rebellion from the contraints of political correctness. In a time when we can’t say much without offending the ‘PC brigade’, he served as a comical alternative. In reference to his alleged ‘Bunga Bunga’ parties he responded,   ”When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said, ‘Yes’, while the other 70% replied, ‘What, again?’” Berlusconi 2011 Second only to my love of his humour, is his hair, that Power Hair. Other notable men with this hair include - Don King, Boris Johnson and of course ‘The Donald’ (Trump). They steadfastly hold onto that hair as if it were the key to their youth and virility. To Berli, dont go changing.

Bye Bye Berli - the unlikely heartthrob?

I have a guilty secret, its my love of Silvio Berlusconi. The former Italian president stood down this week amid huge criticism of his leadership at a time when Italy’s economy is on the brink of disaster. 

To me, Berlusconi symbolises an era of the ‘SuperStar Politician’, he does and says what he wants - well up until Sunday anyway. He had all the ingredients I love in a good film - alleged Mafia links, held supposed orgies ’Bunga Bunga’ parties, has the lustrous brunette locks of a Just for Men model and skin tighter than a cat’s anus.

Perhaps the reason I like him most is his lack of filter or rebellion from the contraints of political correctness. In a time when we can’t say much without offending the ‘PC brigade’, he served as a comical alternative. In reference to his alleged ‘Bunga Bunga’ parties he responded, 

 ”When asked if they would like to have sex with me, 30% of women said, ‘Yes’, while the other 70% replied, ‘What, again?’” Berlusconi 2011

Second only to my love of his humour, is his hair, that Power Hair. Other notable men with this hair include - Don King, Boris Johnson and of course ‘The Donald’ (Trump). They steadfastly hold onto that hair as if it were the key to their youth and virility. To Berli, dont go changing.
November112011

Stealth Sex - Mission Implausible?

What is Stealth Sex I hear you ask? I originally came across the term when reading a post on Brothers With No Game. They were referring to a sexual encounter which always comes with the disclaimer ‘I wont tell anybody’ sure you wont.

However I thought it worked better in the case of Liz thieving Jones. This week the Daily Mail columnist wrote about being in her late 30’s and knowing her biological clock was on the outs so she stole her boyfriends ‘essence’ .

I resolved to steal his sperm from him in the middle of the night. I thought it was my right, given that he was living with me and I had bought him many, many M&S ready meals.

The ‘theft’ itself was alarmingly easy to carry out. One night, after sex, I took the used condom and, in the privacy of the bathroom, I did what I had to do. Liz Jones

 Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2056875/Liz-Jones-baby-craving-drove-steal-husbands-sperm-ultimate-deception.html#ixzz1dMwB9cgC

No Lizzie you didnt do what ‘had to do’ you did what you wanted. It reminds me of the PPI adverts; ‘have you been mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance, you may not even know you have it’ and like those victims, Stealth Sex victims should be compensated too. You are not only stealing semen, your stealing the experience from a man of becoming a parent when he is ready, your stealing the childs right to have two loving parents if the male decides he isnt going to be involved because he didnt sign up for this.

This phenonmena isnt just limited to those whose breast milk is about to become the powdered kind. Younger women do it too thinking it will make their man stay, to which i answer it wont you dumb muvafluka.

So men, read that fine print before you dip your nib in that ink well and ladies, dont be a prick. MESSAGE!!! 


November92011

Women of the Year - the unlikely list

In no particular order;

Carol Mcgiffin, Mariah Carey, Draya Michele (Basketball Wives:LA), Khloe Kardashian & Taraji P Henson.

The reason I have chosen these women is because they own who they are, ok some may be more of a random choice then others but they are unashamedly themselves and for that I salute you.

Carol Mcgiffin - the feature host on Loose Women dont judge me, always says it how it is or at least how she see’s it.

Mariah Carey - is that over indulged, self obsessed ‘diva’ that has no qualms in showing it. This year she did the unspeakable, something that just makes you say ‘WORD!!’ - she had twins. She spoke about it as if she were the first person to ever add to the over crowding of the Earth and for a time I wondered if she would infact call ‘dem babies’ Snowflake and Sparkle just because. However she settled for the much more normal Monroe and Moroccan. 

Draya Michele - say what you want about Draya. She knew she had a rep and didnt go out there with the intention of dispelling it with talk, she did it with being just herself and after going up against Wendell Wendy Williams and coming out looking like the bigger man (wink), I will give credit where its due.

Khloe K - #TeamKhloe all the way. No rhyme or reason.

Taraji P Henson - Earlier this year Taraji publicly spoke out being left off the front cover of TV Guide magazine in favour of her two co-stars . 

“WOW!!!! TV Guide is NOT including me on the cover with my cast members……..I am the female lead of a 3 member cast and I’m not included on the cover!!!!!! Do you see the shit I have to deal with in this business…..I cram to understand!!!!”

 Now as a woman of colour in the entertainment industry, good roles can be few and far between so she could be forgiven for not rocking the boat and staying silent when she felt she was wronged or overlooked. No one wants the title ‘Angry black women’ afterall. But she took the brave step of speaking out and owning her opinion, have to love that.

Be unashamedly you - MESSAGE!!

November82011

Do I owe you my chubby???

So came across a pic of the newly svelte Dawn French, you know Dawn, ‘the larger than life’, ‘good sense of humour’ having comedian. I only include those quotes as that is how Iv heard her being referred to. Whether wittingly or not she had become the epitome of the stereotype, larger people are always friendly, happy and fun. 

They make you feel better don’t they? Whether its with their humour or making you feel better about your own weight. (don’t condone it, just acknowledge it)

So what happens when they lose weight? They claim they are happy as they are and then comes the inevitable drastic weight loss, queue Jennifer Hudson, Ferne Britton. Both have come in for some criticism as a result and have been described as ‘selling out’, ‘betraying the sisterhood’ or my personal fave ‘oh now she thinks she’s hot’.

How i see it… You ‘chubby chasers’ are in it for all the wrong reasons or reason I should say and that reason is you. Lets people live the life they want. In the hunger zone size zero bliss, the happy medium or size sexy. Like Ashley from the Fresh Prince said, ‘Minnnne ya Bizniz’.   

November72011

Annoying friend! Like an asshole, we all have one.

If they were a description on a dating website, they would read like this,

Hi, my name is …. and I just live to moan, the problems with my boyfriend/girlfriend will always trump you losing your job, losing your hair or your losing your gran because without drama I cant function. I love walks in the park but cant bare fresh air, children or the outdoors in general. BLAH BLAH BLAH

                                                    OR

Hi, my name is …. and I will always pop out of the wood work when I need a lift. I can afford a taxi, but your a cheaper option. Plus, I’m environmentally conscious so when you think about it we are doing the world a favour by you picking me up. Im good like that.

My tip to you, block them out. Block them like you did with the memory of the 1st time you were sitting with your parents and sex came on tv. JS

4PM

The krash and burn of the Kardashian Empire?

So this week we have been bombarded with stories of all things Kardashian and I’m kind of loving it. Its like watching that cert 18 film when your 13…naughty naughty. The dirty pleasure you always had but until now hadn’t spoken of through fear of looking shallow for even caring. But not any more, now everyone has an opinion on Kim K or what she is perceived to represent. 72 days you say, ‘I aint even gotten around to watching the fuckin special yet’. Here’s my take. 

Kim and her family provide escapism, for half an hour you aren’t thinking about your lack of love life, credit rating or even bunion, your thinking, dam, Kim has some shiny hair. We all know its scripted so why be surprised when the fairytale plot has a twist to keep you guessing and keep Kim’s pockets lined. People saying they have been conned into believing her wedding was for love and now it all seems for show, only serves to confirm Kim is doing something right and that your a donut. Kim and E are giving you something to talk about other than your otherwise mundane day and at the same time reinstating you hope that fairytales really can happen and then bringing you back to reality, where you should have always stayed by showing you, in life, all aint what it seems.

So give Kim some credit and be honest with yourself when I ask, if you were getting paid $18 million dollars to get fake married infront of people who already know it isnt real, would you say no? 

Page 1 of 1